Parental Soapbox

Although I have a good feeling what most of your opinions will be I would still love to read your input.  With our recent attendance of Lil’ Bum’s and her cousins dance recital it has become all too clear that my feelings toward what is appropriate and inappropriate with children differs greatly from others.  I must now gather my nerve and determination and prepare myself for the day when I must stand up for my child.

Our first dance recital was that of our niece S.  It was fun to watch but there was one thing that bothered me.  The costumes for some of the middle school aged children were far from flattering.  Some of the girls were a little heavier than others and the mid-drift revealing costumes caused their bellies to hang out like a beer gut.  In other dances girls wore styles of the same costume and I don’t really understand why someone did think, “HMM, maybe we should get little Katie a different style costume that flatters a full figure girl.”  Instead it seems they totally disregarded the fact that little Katie has a larger tummy and the fact that the costumes are fitted only emphasized that fact.

As a mother would I have stood up for my daughter?  Would I have talked with the teacher about the way the costume was horribly unflattering?  What would you have done?

I try very hard not to talk of dieting and losing weight around Lil’ Bum because I don’t won’t her to worry about those things.  I want her to have a healthy self-image and be proud of herself for who she is and not always strive for the unattainable Hollywood body image.  I can’t help but feel that by subjecting girls to costumes that are unflattering only causes them to be self conscious.


Needless to say, I was on high alert during Lil’ Bum’s dance recital.  My eyes were peeled for inappropriate costumes.  Luckily during the part of the recital that I was able to watch there was only one group with belly showing outfits and they weren’t unflattering at all.  Not too bad.  There was a little gyrating that made my skin crawl but I tried to remember that it was all in fun and not meant to be sexual in nature.

All I can say is I’m not ready for my little girl to grow up.  I’m not ready to deal with this stuff.

Now for the fun part.  Please tell me your opinions!!!


Over all I enjoyed both recitals very much but my mommy alarmed sounded on high.

Published in: on May 21, 2008 at 1:49 pm  Comments (3)  

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3 CommentsLeave a comment

  1. That’s a tough one b/c you don’t want to participate in making it all about their bodies by getting a different costume that covers, but they shouldn’t have to reveal their bodies in the first place. While I’d love a girl, I’m not sorry to miss out on this stuff first hand. I guess, since you asked, what I’d do is follow my daughter’s lead. If she had a belly and it hung out, I wouldn’t care if she didn’t. If she did I’d get her a different costume.

  2. This is the main reason we switched to gymnastics. We just couldn’t handle the costumes and dances that were designed for the older girls. Where we lived at the time, there was an ‘anything goes’ mentality and it too much for us! I think you are wise to be attentive to this!

  3. God gave us instinct, and that feeling needs to be listened to. I have used it most of my life and was pleased that I did. When I did not listen to it I usually paid the price. When it comes to our children you know to trust that feeling deep in your gut, and in your heart. You may not always be popular with you kids or their friends, but that is not your job right now. It is your job to raise them the best YOU can. Sounds like you are on the right path. Good for you!

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